Solo Parenting & Self-care
By Alesandra Adam
When you’re constantly running with no energy, you and your well-being can suffer. And in the long run, people around you, like your family, can suffer, too.
“Humans need to be able to prioritize self-care, but for parents, that often falls by the wayside,” Dr. Borland shares. “Since the pandemic, we’ve seen an increase in the sense of pressure that parents feel to be all things to everyone all the time. That leads to chronic emotional and physical fatigue.”
When you don’t make time for self-care, you may start to experience burnout, which can include symptoms like:
- Feelings of sadness, hopelessness or emptiness.
- Depression.
- Sleep difficulties, like sleeping too much or not enough.
- Changes in diet and appetite.
- Lacking a sense of pleasure in activities.
- Thoughts of suicide.
“When you’re happy and healthy, then you can be a happier, more attentive parent,” Dr. Borland points out. “Instead of running on fumes and being easily frustrated, you’ll have more energy to take your kids on outings or coach their sports team.”
So, work on dropping the guilt you’re feeling for wanting to rest and start making time for parental self-care. You don’t just deserve it; you need it. When you make time to care for yourself, you’re doing something positive for your family, too.
Here are some steps to help you practice self-care
- Acknowledge that parenting is hard
- Take a moment to admit that raising children is one of the hardest jobs out there — even on a good day. Be kind to yourself and remember that you’re doing your best. Self-care for parents begins with simple self-compassion.
- Don’t take your basic needs for granted
- When life gets hectic, it’s easy to forget your own basic needs. Remind yourself to sleep enough, drink water, and eat regular, healthy meals.
- Self-care comes in many forms
- Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to cost much or take a lot of time. Start small — maybe take a bath after the kids are asleep or meditate for five minutes. Even scrolling on your phone for a few minutes to unwind can help. Self-care for parents is anything that makes you feel good.
4. It takes a village, but you need to ask for help, too
- Friends and family can be great support, but they can’t help unless you tell them what you need. Practicing self-care for parents includes knowing when and how to ask for help.
5. Modeling self-care helps everyone
- Taking care of yourself helps you show up better for your kids — and it teaches them healthy habits, too. Self-care for parents creates a ripple effect for the whole family.
6. Accept your limits
- Part of avoiding burnout is understanding you can’t do everything alone. Learn your stress limits and don’t feel ashamed when you reach them. Focus on managing burnout and creating a plan to prevent it from coming back.
7. Find other parents who can relate
- Through social media and support groups, try to connect with parents in similar situations. Hearing others’ experiences can give you support and perspective. Self-care for parents includes building a strong, understanding community. Surround yourself with adults who get your challenges — partners, family, friends, or fellow parents. Share responsibilities, delegate tasks, and ask for help when needed.
8. But also connect with friends outside of parenting
- It’s also good to spend time with friends who know you beyond your role as a caregiver. A walk, a phone call, or a coffee date can remind you that parenting is only one part of your identity. Self-care for parents helps you maintain balance and well-being.
